How marriage cannot be defined by religion

Here is my thought about marriage and religion.

Religions frequently attempt to define marriage yet often the boundaries of religion are crossed over from within a marriage - after the knot had been tied in church, temple or within a sacred grove.

Consider the many denominations within Christianity alone - spouses may switch denominations during the course of a marriage even if religion frowns upon it - even if it amounts to excommunication, yet still stay married.

While marriage partners may switch religions together or individually, the marriage often (if not usually) survives, both in their own eyes and the eyes of society, even if they started out with the blessing of a particular Church.

One's religion may define a set of criteria for marriage but couples do not always comply - in fact, some couples are not religious at all, yet in the eyes of society, they are married nonetheless.

For those who are religious, marriage is usually twofold - both married in church AND before a Justice of the Peace. This satisfies both religious and secular requirements, both spiritually and in the eyes of the law. Some couples elect to marry ONLY at Town Hall, or in a private ceremony amongst friends, even if a Church does not honor or recognize such a marriage.

My husband and I were married by a Justice of the Peace and not at a church - it was considered a secular ceremony, yet I'm a very spiritual person, if not particularly religious in the sense of organized religion. Interestingly, today I would have done things differently, as I don't believe that "government" should define marriage.

I believe that religions have the right to define marriage within the context of theology. I also believe that individuals have the right to define marriage on their own, especially if they are not members of any particular church.

I do have difficulty with Uncle Sam defining marriage though. Today, there is a great deal of political controversy around the issue of whether gays should be married. In fact, the issue (both pro and con) has become a bargaining chip for many politicians' campaigns. In my opinion, this is the equivalent of begging government's blessing on what should be considered either a spiritual or moral issue that transcends both local and Federal government.

I can more easily understand bringing marriage to an alter, than to a partisan platform!

Many gay couples also happen to be religious - why, for heaven's sake would it be so important to any of them to have a marriage license drawn up at Town Hall? Would it really make a positive difference in their union?

There's also the matter of "Separation of Church and State" to consider. We do not live in a theocracy. It seems that many couples are getting things backwards, attaching so much importance to whether they can be married at Town Hall. It is like asking Uncle Sam if it is OK for them to proceed with a marital union.

While religions themselves can define marriage from a traditional perspective, secular criteria for marriage will vary elsewhere.

Interestingly, many churches will refuse to marry a couple if they have not first obtained a legal marriage license - but this is certainly not true of all churches. It is still more customary or traditional for religion to define marriage than for a secular body of government to do so.

While my husband and I took our marriage vows seriously, from both a spiritual and moral perspective, religion does not define marriage for me; neither does the secular world.

Honoring marriage

Here's my thought about honoring marriage.

Yes there are three of us in this marriage! A three cord strand that is not easily broken. That is how our marriage has survived everything that's been thrown at it. We married as committed Christians under Gods law as well as the state requirements.
I have always believed in marriage. I got married in church the first time too but as an agnostic at that time don't believe that it was truly blessed by God.

God undoubtedly had a hand on my life however, blessing us with four healthy children.
Marriage IS different to living together. I have spoken to many who can confirm this often after many years living together. It brings them much more security and just a feeling of moving to another level. To say it's just a piece of paper is a load of crap! It's a much deeper level of commitment and emotional cost. If you can't commit to marriage then i don't believe you should have children. Children are a much greater responsibility than committing to another adult. Yet people quite happily have children almost without a second thought!
Marriage is still a subject for ridicule and scorn by many. It takes real hard work to make it work and too many couples give up at the first hurdle. I think those who criticise are often bitter and jealous because they have failed.
I do believe that living together prior to marriage is okay. Controversial for a Christian but as long as you are committed to getting married, i have no problem with "try before you buy". It could prevent a disaster.
Honoring marriage isn't just part of a Christian code for me but a moral code that is found in other cultures and religions. As a result of the lack of respect for marriage we have seen a breakdown in family values and society as a whole.
We have just celebrated twelve years of marriage and that's something we are both very proud of.

A Love Letter to Your Spouse

How to make a love letter to your spouse.

When was the last time you took time out of your busy schedule to write your spouse a letter? Not just a list of to-dos or a grocery list, but a love letter saying how much you appreciate them and value having them in your life. We get caught up in everyday life, that we allow our marriages to miss the little things that can sometimes over shadow the very things we think are major problems. Whether you are having problems in your marriage or your marriage is perfect, you can still speak life into it by writing your spouse a LOVE LETTER today!

Don't take for granted that your spouse will always be around and knows exactly how you feel about them. Have a heart of forgiveness, let down your pride and show them some love today! Below is a letter that has been drafted for you, as you make a commitment to start encouraging your spouse and setting your marriage on fire.

Dear (insert your spouse's name here),

I wanted to write this letter to let you know that I am thinking about you and that I love you so much. I know we have our differences and we were made into two different people, but I believe we were made us just for each other. I appreciate all that you have done for me and all that you continue to do to show your love for me. Thank You!

You make me smile when I don't feel like smiling; you make me happy when I am sad and you bring joy and peace into my everyday worries. For that, I am so blessed to have you as my spouse and I am thankful for you every day.

I cherish each day I can wake up next to you and spend time together, whether it's a lot of time or a small block of time. I also cherish each night that we share our bed together; knowing that we can end our night as one holding each other, and letting go of the worries from that day.

I often ask the question, "Can I really be this blessed to have you in my life?" My answer is always a resounding yes because how can I complain about someone as wonderful as you are. You were wonderful enough for me to marry you, so I know that what made you so special back then is still shining bright in you.

On this day, I wanted to thank you for loving me, thank you for putting up with me, thank you for being patient with me, thank you for making me smile, thank you for serving me and most of all, thank you for being the wonderful person that I have come to love so much.

Please forgive me if I have ever done or said anything to hurt you, because I want us walk this journey together in love and a renewed commitment to each other.

I hope our marriage will forever be blessed not just as a marriage, but as a "holy matrimony." My sincere prayer is that we can continue to walk this journey side-by-side and day-by-day loving each other, until "death parts us."

Love Always,

(Insert your name here)

You may think that this is only a letter, but it's not just a letter. Our words and how we use them in our marriage can have a profound positive impact on how our marriage will grow. Do you want your marriage to grow and prosper? If so, then speak life and joy into your spouse and about your marriage. Don't give up on your marriage or your love for your spouse. Write them that love letter that they can cherish forever.

3 Factors That Will Improve Marriage

Here my suggestion to improve your marriage.

Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. There are couples that have been married happily for years. So what keeps these marriages going strong until death? I don’t believe it is just one factor that keeps couples together forever. I think it is several contributing factors all rolled into one that work together and here they are.

1. Commitment

The most important and number one element for making marriage work is commitment. There is no doubt in my mind that being fully devoted to your marriage is a significant factor in its longevity. Couples that are committed are more apt to work through their differences and find compromising solutions. They are more aware of the blessings that marriage can bring and I believe because of their commitment they are more tolerant of each other’s flaws. Couples who are committed tend to accept each other for who they are rather than try and change one another.

2. Respect

The second most important factor contributing to a healthy, fruitful, and abundant marriage is respect for each other’s position in the home. For an example, I respect my husband and his position. I surrender to him in those particular areas where I should because I respect his judgment and guidance. I realize this is how he shows his love for his family. I have full confidence in my husband that he will lead his family in the way he should under the direction of Jesus Christ.

My husband respects my position. If my husband did not respect me, he wouldn’t care what I did with my life; therefore he would not be protecting me the way he is supposed to according to God. This is how spiritual headship in marriage works. We have to allow our husbands to be the masculine influence in the home, because that is what works! I have three teenage sons and I want their dad to be the man around our home. What kind of an influence would we be showing our three sons, if their dad cringed with fear, while I constantly bossed him and belittled him?

I have done my research, a domineering and bossy wife and mother is not good for a young boys growing up years. It challenges their identity and later when they are older, they think they have failed as young men and they get ideas that are not of God. A man’s position of spiritual influence and authority in the home is how he shows his undying love for his wife and family. That is the way a man can truly show his love, so let him do it!

I am fortunate enough to not have to go out of the home to work because my daily responsibilities are in the home. From home schooling two of my sons to cooking meals, from cleaning our home to gardening, from writing projects to updating our marriage ministry, and taking care of everything in between, I can honestly say my life and marriage is fully blessed.

What would happen if my husband belittled my cooking, or chastised me about the way I cleaned the home, or didn’t like how I expressed myself on paper? I would not be blessed anymore because my self worth would be getting attacked. A man should never treat his wife this way! A husband who treats his wife in this manner won’t have a very happy marriage.

In the same way, what if I scoffed at my husband’s judgment and guidance over his family? Now that wouldn’t be good, would it? Or what if I constantly berated him about the way he dresses or disciplines the children? Wouldn’t that be disrespectful? Of course it would. These kinds of attitudes will literally tear a person down and it will eventually break the marriage apart!

3. Submission

So with that said, my last contributing factor for a happily ever after marriage is acceptance of each other, which is actually another form of submission. When we allow each to do what each does best we are actually submitting to each other, which is scriptural. Be loving and tolerant of each other is what God wants us to do.

Husband’s, pay attention and watch how you treat your wife. Be gentle with her, always grateful that God blessed you with the woman you married. She needs your support and love everyday. Make time for her. If there is something special you would like for dinner, let her know, but don’t put down her cooking, or belittle her calling with the Lord. Let her be.

Wife’s, pay attention and watch how you treat your husband. Surrender to his influential position that God gave him and let him “be” the man of his home. Remember when a man protects you from harm, and tells you what is best for you, it probably is not selfish control, but his way of showing how much he loves you. Don’t belittle him with harsh words of criticism or treat him like one of the children. A husbands calling is to love his family, so let him do that, and your marriage will be happily forever after.

What Do Couples Need From Each Other?

Here are the answers for this topic.

What does a wife need from her husband? I can’t answer that question for all women, but I do know what I need. I need my husband to be supportive of my endeavors and ideas. I want my husband to realize that the marriage does not center only around him and what he needs, but on what we both need. I want for my husband to make time for me. I want to be put on the top of his priority list, after God, and not on the bottom. Does that sound selfish? It’s not selfish when you know that he gets the same treatment from me.

I want for my husband to enjoy spending his time off with me and so I often encourage fun and creative things to do together when he does have the spare time away from work. I have to remember this, though, if I am not acting on my marriage obligations the way God wants for me to, I should not expect that my husband would be too happy about it. So then, I shouldn’t take advantage of my husband’s loving kindness or take our marriage for granted. Because my first priority should be my husband’s happiness, right?

I believe God has put me where I am at for a reason. I have been blessed with the man I married because that is who God put before me 23 years ago. I didn’t change the course of events to marry the man I married, because the events became the course. In other words, I did not put a gun to my husband’s head and tell him to marry me or else. What became yesterday is what is today. Not that we cannot change or improve on our marriage, but that we ought to be content with the person God has blessed us with.

Once we get rid of the idea of divorce and we get rid of the bad attitude is when we can begin to reflect upon who we are in the marriage and begin living our God fulfilled purpose. Once we get rid of the selfishness we can start to fulfill the roles and responsibilities that have been given to us when we got married. But we cannot get rid of these ideas until we choose to follow Gods plans for our marriage. We are the ones who fail marriage. Marriage does not fail, people do!

We fail marriage because we give up. We give up on God and we give up on what we can do to change ourselves. You’ve heard the saying; patience is a virtue, right? Well, we have given up on patience because we feel that time is running out. Time does not run out, but people do. The messages from society run amok and tell us to do things that are not from God but from selfish desires and arrogance. If that is who a person is then they have every right to continue listening to and believing those messages. But if you are a part of God’s family then you have your own messages to listen to.

Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lords will is. (Ephesians 5:15-17 NIV)

I know what I need from my husband. I need to know that he is devoted to our marriage that we started 23 years ago. I want him to accept me for who I am, because I cannot guarantee that I will never make mistakes. I need to know that my husband would never act on a bad attitude, turn against me, and ask for a divorce like many spouses in marriage do. Because what is that? That is not a marriage, that is people being wishy washy with each other, allowing feelings to control the outcome of the marriage. I believe a husband needs the same thing from his wife. A man needs his wife to respect his position in the marriage above everything else. If a man is allowed to be the man in his home, then everything else should just fall into place like clockwork.

Keep A Marriage Alive

Here are 3 tips to keep a marriage alive.

If you are in any time that you realized that there are ups and downs, unfortunately, statistics on divorce in America is shocking. Here are 3 tips to save your marriage, live large and passionate.

Unless

Like it or not, are sometimes, you and your spouse are not always see eye to eye on certain issues. The best advice I ever heard is "attack the problem, not each other." Which means it is not going to come and mistake each other, take into account the objective and focus on the problem.

Time together

In today's world may be busy with children and can make a day, never stop, however, you must find time to spend together and do things not just watching television together. If your partner to play sport and go next time to play with them in any other activities zaplitati in this way, you can spend hours with each other in the new environment.

You need to speak

Relationships based on trust and communication. Have a happy and long marriage, you must have great communication. Remember all you readers think, and ask your wife what they want and believe what they said. This will keep the channels open and to build more trust with each other.

Remember life is full of ups and drop, struggles and surprises, labor relations and require patience. Award share your love and be loved by another is a miracle.

Blessed Marriage: You Should Love Who You Married

My thought why you should love your married.

I think the word "love" is thrown around a bit nonchalantly. Right? People say that love, but do nothing to demonstrate that love. Love must act for its purpose. So when I say "the love that you married," which means to you in marriage. This is what love is!

Let's look at 6 biblically based principles to the different areas of love.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, not bragging, it is not proud. It is not rude, not selfish, not easily chat, but no records of wrong. Deliciosos Love is not evil, but happy with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes always preserved. "1 Corinthians 13:4-7

1. Love is patient! You are patient with your spouse? Patience is a virtue. It is a great character attribute patience and practice. You are using the opportunities God gave him? You're sick, or are easily irritated and angry?

You hear what your spouse has to say? Thank You and understanding their needs and desires? Be patient with your spouse is a way to provide love for them.

2. Love does not envy! You are jealous of who you married? Always jealous of your man again?

Resentment runs rampant in marriages today, and is literally tear apart homes! Do not want any resentment still tears his marriage, is not it?

So often I hear me as houses that are resentful of their husbands for one reason or another, especially on small things that should be discussed only! Put what they do? Like it! Have conversation with your wife today?

3. Love is not selfish! This is a biggy! I talk a little about the selfishness in my book, "Journey to the road less travel, and many of my articles. Why? I think it's a big problem with young people, although not always visible.

I know how selfish spouse can rip the others down with them. I went there and did it. I was not learning to give of myself, that I blew the boy grow. I was so in the "I" and thus left the field for my wedding, until you find the love of Jesus for my life.

We all have some talents that seem selfish intense at the time. But some of us are so selfish in marriage that we do not know how to give of ourselves in everything! Many problems of selfish behavior, but usually the absence of the spiritual Christ to intervene in our psyche. What we do in our mind is what will output to others, especially the person we married.

That is why we insist on previous articles, for a healthy and a good marriage, houses need to take care of themselves, then and only then, can contribute to the marriage.

4. Love is not easily Angered! You're angry with his wife more than anything! Now I can be impatient and intolerable behavior with your spouse?

The problem could be charging Underline your anger? To quickly anger, something deeper is bothering you. Until the root of that anger to stay within your inner psyche ready for abuse on the road. If you abuse your wife makes you angry feelings, you leave the house. It is wrong to rebuke your spouse with bad feelings of anger and hurt them bad.

"My dear brother, note the following: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to make angry, because the man will not just of life that God wants." James 1:19-20

"A dashing man awaken the discrepancy, but a patient man calms a quarrel." Proverbs 15:18

6. Love not pleasure in Evil happy, but the truth! This must be the champion of all aspects of love, because they follow this simple principle, does not need any rules to tell us how to love, or what love is. This simple verse speaks for itself, but for some of you, perhaps you are not sure that is true.

The truth is that it will be free of all these unpleasant aspects of his character, such as anger, resentment, envy, jealousy and struggle. Indeed, these feelings are just around you in your head. They can be your life or find a new way of life.

If you want to be free of those feelings you need to find the truth, right? You need to know the truth, right?

Deep asked, the truth is free, not only our weaknesses but also our people within this new reality. Once you start using the truth in our lives that can easily fail to transport around a feeling bitter and negative attitude that we have.

Simply put, the truth is God's words of wisdom. We walk in the truth, God is true when we are in our lives.

Bottom line, the person who wisdom love your spouse, faithful, honest, reliable, relevant, trust God, for God first, the area of evil know wrong, listen and learn and apply the wisdom of his life and marriage.

"Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who won understanding that it is more profitable to silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than blond, nothing can compare to like her.

Long life is your right in his left hand are riches and honor. His ways are pleasant and all its paths are paths of peace. She is a tree of life for those who embrace her, those in possession of it will be blessed. "Proverbs 3:13-18

And that's the truth! You have the wisdom of love, who he married?

The Secret Behind A Blessed Marriage

Another secret for blessed marriage.

Last week I was only the third part of the movie, Spiderman. It was a message that was transmitted, that really inspired me. As he correctly says, you have the right to have your own decision at some point in life. Your present state is a reflection of the decisions that you have in the past. Therefore you should not blame the entire current situation. On this basis, we should increase.

The success of marriage lies in the recognition of differences

At this point it is something I wish my parents. As a child, I had never been peaceful days go by me. There have been daily disputes and arguments between my parents. In fact, I would term as a shortened version of the WWF. I've always seen banning each other. But at the end of the day, they loved each other. And they still live happily.

Well, my question is why they are not eligible for a divorce if they knew that life was too difficult for them with frequent quarrels. If your guess is as good as me, I think you've already entered in the answer: The secret is to each other.

The success of marriage lies in the fact of how well you are talking about the differences between the sexes. Man and woman are two different people with completely different ideologies inbuilt. Of course, it is difficult for them to get along well. If you are married to your partner for long, trust me that you have understood him well. At this point, you and your partner can start as a unit.

A postponement of divorce forever - secret of success Lange

It is my humble wish that you are not in a divorce in the first place. Enter the time through his things, and you will find that you have finally conquered the world. You come to a point where you really congratulate you for that foolish decision. Here are some tips and tricks:

* Tackle conflicts: If you were in constant conflict with your spouse about a problem, it is time to resolve them. Both need to sit at the table and show your views. Be open about your feelings. Unless you do that there is no way you can find a solution.
* Avoid the ego: ego is the first enemy of love. In the moment when the ego steps in the relationship, life can be all that terrible. The success of a relationship depends much put the other person before you like and dislike. Try to do what the other person as brushing your own settings and you will notice the difference.
* Development of Tolerance: How Shakespeare right said Mercy is twice blessed. He blesses those who have them, and also those who receive it. If your spouse had made a mistake, you should not be applied directly to the mission to end the relationship. Analyzing what really would the other person for failure. For all that you know you will be responsible for everything.
* Spread the message of love: When Grace was double blessed, love is many times blessed. Try circulating a word about love and you will find that the earnings are much higher than what you might expect. And love, that you come from deep in your heart and not just an expression. There is no one in the world who will never give in to love.

Divorce cannot be the solution

If you are impatient about the things that happens with the current situation, all I have to say, is only one thing: Patience is bitter but the fruit is sweet.

3 Factors For Blessed Marriage

Some tips for blessed marriage.

Happily Ever After is not a fairy tale. There are couples who have been happily married for years. What do these marriages are very well until his death? I do not think there is one factor keeping couples together forever. I think there are several factors all rolled together, which, together, and now they are.

1. Commitment

The most important and most of it, that marriage is a commitment. There is no doubt in my mind that of your wedding is a major factor in its longevity. Couples who are committed are likely to work through their differences and find a compromise solution. They are well aware of the blessing that marriage can bring, and I think, because of their commitment, they are tolerant of each other's shortcomings. Couples who are committed to generally accept others for who they are and not try to move to another.

2. Respect

The second most important factor is a healthy, productive, and abundance of marriage must respect each other in the position of the house. Example, I respect my husband and his position. I disclosed in these areas in particular where I need it because I respect his assessment, and guidance. I understand that this is how he shows his love for his family. I have full confidence in my husband that he will lead his family, how he or she should be under the direction of Jesus Christ.

My husband respects my position. If my husband is not me, it does not care what I did with my life, not to protect myself, how it is with God. As a spiritual leader in the marriage works. We must allow our husbands are masculine influence in the house, because that is what works! I have three of the teenage son and I want their father is a man, about our house. What kind of impact we could shows three son when the father cringed in fear, although I am constantly belittled him and bossed him?

I did the research, which is arrogant and domineering wife and mother is not good, as young boys growing up years. It calls into question their identity and, later, when they are older, they feel they have failed, because the young men, and they have ideas that are not of God. The man on the influence and spiritual authority, which is how he shows his love for his wife and family. This is how people can really show her love for him!

I am fortunate not to leave home and the workplace, because in my daily responsibilities at home. Home-school my son two hours cooking meals, cleaning, gardening, our writing projects, we update our marriage ministry and manages everything else, I can honestly say that my life and marriage are blessed .

What would happen if my husband belittled my kitchen, or reprimanded for me how to clean the house, or do not like how I expressed myself on paper? I would not be luckier, because I'm in them should be attacked. A man should never deal with that way! A husband who takes care of his wife in this way is not a very happy marriage.

By the same token, if I mock the words of my husband and direction of his family? Now, is it good? But if I had been reprimanded for the way he dresses or disciplines the children? It should not be disrespectful? Of course it is. These attitudes are literally tearing a person and it is to break the marriage, and more!

3. Communication

So, that said, the last factor, which, fortunately, since marriage is the acceptance of others, which is really another form has been submitted for consideration. When we allow everyone to do what each does best, we are each other, which is the Bible. Be tolerant and loving of each other is what God wants from us.

Her husband, attentive and observe how we treat your wife. Be gentle with her always be grateful that God blessed you, you are a married woman. She needs support and love of life. Take time for him. If there is something specific you want for dinner, let them know, but does not the cuisine or intended to be with the Lord. It is.

His wife, pay attention and watch how we treat your husband. Surrender of his influential position, that God gave to him and give him "to be" man of the house. Remember when a man protects you against damage and tells you what is best for you, it probably is not selfish, but his way of showing how much he loves you. Do not minimize the harsh words of criticism or to treat him as one of the children. An appeal is the husband of the love of his family to let him do, and happy marriage is forever.

Angie Lewis is the author of three books of the offer of marriage and marriage counseling wisdom filled answers to questions such as the fight against drug addiction, adultery, pornography, emotions, beliefs, feelings, marriage, children, forgiveness, communication, submission and spiritual influence at home.